of siLver & 13

Arms around knees and knees to chest.
Cold air filing; watch each slow breath.
Head is sore from banging it to the wall.
Staring at a reflection; a face to fool all.
There she is, so shut down from the world.
First look and all you see is a happy girl.
Look again, farther into her little heart,
She’s destroyed inside; all torn apart.
Arms around knees and knees to chest.
Cold air filling; watch each slow breath.
Tears frozen and bleeding from the head.
Not much longer now and she’ll be dead.
Looking in the mirror, she watches herself die.
A young teenager who no longer wished to try.
Not a sound is heard and she slips away.
God bless the angel who died that day.
Arms fallen from knees and knees far from chest.
Cold air filled; but visible is not a single breath.
Cause of death: suicidal ways left unseen,
God bless the angel who died at thirteen.

of siLvery 13...i might be writtin abt myself..

of siLver & unknown

I'll never see you, I know...
We won't talk any more...
Your dreams will come true....not with me...
But I will be stronger...I'll forgive...
I'll always remember the dawn
You brought to my land of endless night,
I'll always remember your words...
I'll always believe all these lies...
Just ashes at our feet...Just ashes...small pieces of me...
My dreams, sacrificed, are not yet broken,
And pain will be never forgotten...
‘Eternal ' love ended on one Thursday,
It vanished without a reason...Dismay in my eyes,
endless fears inside...And tears...my tears are crimson...
There's pain, there's distance between us,
But they can't erase all my pain.
It's all left by love, I'm heartless,
Love, dying, has taken my heart away...
I'll find you among a thousand strangers,
Your unknown familiar face...
Can't wait for the day when I meet you,
But it'll be a non-existing day...

of siLvery unknown...

of siLver & venom kisses

It feels like you are smothering me
I cannot escape from your embrace
why cant you just leave me be?
so I can slip away from your fading grace.
Your words, they run through me like blood
caught in the web of my mind
these empty thoughts now start to flood
like the river of your meaningless lies.
From your kisses, the taste of venom corrupts me
as they are poisoning my soul
dying slowly until I can hardly breathe
your love is something I can no longer behold.
My tears have dried and turned to stone
frozen in time, no longer to fall again
although I'm dying;
I'm lying here alone
a new life for me will soon begin.

of siLvery kisses

of siLver & without you (E)

veil of indifference i cast upon my broken heart
on the surface i was shining, inside totally torn apart
i mended the wounds by freezing the emotions
and chaining in memory the hopeless devotion
with grace and charm i adapted to my new role
cold fragments of smiles and merciless control
i thought i could live in a perfect masquerade
but i knew too well that some feelings never fade
the promise of "just friends" was a common, cheap illusion
and my calculated mind sinks into deep confusion
i yearn to throw away the mask and let your sunlight through
and admit my days are black
when i spend them without you

of siLvery wifout you

of siLver & untitled

Like the ghost of a dead
You came back to haunt me
Long sleepless nights i had to endure
Because of you

Once you promised me
That when it was dark
The sun would emerge
But back came not the sun
another black cloud to hide the light

Reopen the scars
That took me centurys to heal
Brought my painful thoughts
Out into the light
After i had hidden them
In the darkest corner of my mind

You promised me
That when a rose withered
A new one would bloom
And become more beautyfull then ever
But a rose can not bloom in a sea of sorrow
“You swore meThat you always would be there

And guide me through it all
But you forsaken me
why have you forsaken me?
And I‘m lost in this world
”All you said Was just lies Spilt breath On dishonest words“

But still, I will not please you
For being the reason for my fall”

of siLvery n coLd you are not the reason i fall...

of siLver & dying

How could I be so blind?
I was not worth her love
I wish that he would just leave me be
leave me alone, to fade away
let me slip into loneliness
I cannot continue to hurt you
I will never be good enough for you
just let me die, and leave my soul to cease
Do not lift my spiritit has died, and cannot rid itself of its scars
I am now out of reach
you can no longer take my hand
to guide me away from sadness
I have no strength to smile
all I can do is cry
so why should I continue living?
while all I am is worthless and alone?
I just feel so lonely; lost and forgotten
so just let me slip away
and do not cry for me
for your tears will only leave one more scar on my soul.

of siLvery dying

of siLver & burn

Scream, scream
I cannot think
I cannot bear
To go to sleep
I often stay up till late
To calm the thoughts
Pounding at my head
To wait until I’m sure They’re dead like you
So scream my darling,
I cannot stand you
A moment longer with you in my mind
Would be the death of me
You make me cry
And turn my stomach
Scream at me and go away
Cry, cryWhen will you learn?
I’m over you
You don’t own me
I cannot forget you
And I will never be free of you
Until I’m really sure We’re dead again
So cry my darling I no longer care
A moment longer with you in my mind
Would be the end of me
I need to scream
And stand my own ground
Cry for me and go back home
There will never be a day
When you don’t scream at me
You’ll be there sitting on my bed
Waiting to hurt me
You’re the force behind anxiety
You never should have existed to me
Now I long to be alone
Truly alone without you screaming“You betrayed me” in my ear
Never ever, never lose contro
lI won’t give in to your emotionless eyes
Cry, scream, darling
Just leave me here
I don’t need you guiding me
You’ll drive me off the bridge
I know
Just leave me here
While you burn.

of siLvery while you burn

Of siLver & Efa

Black velvet swept through my dreams
Of scarlet beauty and cristiline tears,
As the moon erases all memories but you...

Laying in darkness as my soul betrays me
Forever, for my angel’s return
Alone facing the horrors of emptyness
Nothingness takes control of myself,my being
and never sets me free...

Stranded in a web of lost memories
Broken dreams haunt my feelings
For your presence efa, lingers in my mind
As i await to be sucked through the void
Of life´s betrayal...

Dreams unsaid and unknown
For i have forever been alone
Wandering through my wounded image
Reflected in the mirror of life
Embraced by the shadow of my doubt..

So i await endlessly for you
My angel of scarlet wings
And cristiline tears
Beauty unseen in life’s remembrance
in vain i await...

No more will to live,
empty of life...
empty of you...
Living eternally with my everbroken heart...

of siLvery dying

of siLver & suicide endin

tainted by memories ..it hurts,cuttin tru its roots..crimson tide flows as it drop to the floor turnin to ashes..i'm jus waitin.buyin my time. soon i will enter the halls of valhala..when the bell tolls for me n the angels drink...

of siLver & coLd

Of siLver & setia...Efa i'm still am..for the rest of my life

deras hujan yang turun
mengingatkanku pada dirimu
aku masih disini untuk setia

selang waktu bergant
iaku tak tahu engkau dimana
tapi aku mencoba untuk setia

sesaat malam datang
menjemput kesendirianku
dan bila pagi datang
kutahu kau tak disampingku
aku masih disini untuk setia

Of siLvery setia..

of siLver & my last tonight

Cry alone, I've gone away No more nights, no more pain I've gone alone, took all my strength I've made the change,I won't see you tonight
Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood All the ones around me I cared for and loved Building up inside of me A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free Don't mourn for me, You're not the one to place the blame As bottles call my name I won't see you tonight
So far away, I'm gone. Please don't follow me tonight An while I'm gone everything will be alright
but I can't see myself that way Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

of siLvery & tonight

Of siLver & coLd

its been 4wks..it seems that things are gettin tougher each moments.. drugs and alcohol pretty much run my life now.the shiver gets longer.. the cold gets colder.. the pain gets painful..i kept hearin voices and laughter...mockin me..tauntin me..tellin me to end everythin..tellin me everythin seems pointless..life is rather redundant..pickin up the knife..i cut myself to see if i'm still sane.. to make the voices go away..
Things werent always this way.. life was better..each time i shiver there be my angel hoverin above me assurin me that everythin gonna be fine..givin me the strength to go on..givin me her hope and faith..and love.. it seems no more..now i'm all by myself..each passin night i asked myself why did she go away when i needed her the most??why didnt i treasure my angel?? its a lil too late to regret now i'm afraid..my angel has gone away..too a much happier place..a place fill by lights and not darkness..at the end ..i end up with tears...plague by the memories plague by the tears plague by the moments..
help me dear angel..pls..

Of siLvery shame

Of siLver & Ken

when to the bay the other day to get some fresh air.. to clear my head..lotsa of things been happenin lately..i was sittin around and i saw ken walkin past me wif his new gal.we end up havin coffee.ken aka Mr Kenshee.. apparently is doin gd now..his freelance design is doin well and he's workin rite now in screen box asia..he asked hows my work at mediaworks..funny thing i didnt know how to answer him.jus told him i was doin ok which was a lie..well ken is settin up his own bizness soon..and he invited to work with him..he used to work for me kinda ironic now that if i end up workin for him..

Yo ken.. if you read this..i'm out of the design world..sorry if i lied to you..well i guess you must be grinin from ear to ear huh knowin that you are now much betta than me..i wanna say sorry for walkin out on you on the last deal..it affected our workin relationship and our brotherhood but dont get me wrong i did wat i did and i have no regrets...anyway whateve u end up i wish you all the best in your life and in your career..i'm proud of you ken.. peace..

Of siLvery shame..